Thursday, March 15, 2012

Long Time, No Blog...

It's been a while, eh?  I feel a bit awkward like I should introduce myself all over again or something.  I'll spare you if you don't mind.  Where the hoot have I been? 

Well, let's just say after two years of blogging (can't believe it's been that long), I fell into a "funk" of sorts.  I've talked to a few peeps about it, and I still can't quite figure out what it was.  I all of a sudden felt insecure about blogging about our home.  Showcasing pictures of our not-completely-perfect, have-no-clue-where-I-am-going-with-this, room/house/etc. was really freaking me out.  I felt like Duncan the dog must feel every day wearing nothing but a collar--even when we have company over.  All exposed, you know?  I mean, I'm doubting nearly every decision I make in the new hizzy simply because I am perfectly smitten with it.  I'm so excited about all of our new spaces, but I feel nearly paralyzed when it comes to making it our own.  I'm so afraid of messing something up and (A) having to do it again (B) having to convince the Boze-inator that I need to spend the money to re-do a decorating mistake.  Yowzers, that's a lot of pressure.  And on top of that, I'm posting pictures of the madness (and writing about it) on the blog.  It became too much.

Then, there's this whole thing called "work."  You know, the full-time job thing that I do all day every day Monday to Friday?  One might think in my fifth year of teaching that I would have it more together--like maybe I would leave closer to 3:15 in the afternoon like I am paid to do?  But it doesn't happen.  A lot of that is the result of my own choices--over-commitment issues have been genetically passed on to me (right Mom and Dad?), and I constantly am reminded that I need to take a break from things.  So, after working a very full day with 21 little darlings (I really do love them--promise), did I feel inspired to dream up worthwhile reading for the blog?  Not really.  Oh, the shame and guilt I was feeling about working myself ragged AND not posting anything on the ole' blog.  I even tried getting the hubs in on the posting action to ease the pressure I felt.  Yet, at the end of the day, blogging started to feel like just another thing to add to the to-do list...and my Post-It note was already full.

I had been talking to Andy and my mom quite a bit about the topic, and I had even drafted a "so-long" post to officially end blogging for now...or for a while (I wasn't sure).  However, a conversation with a good friend recently made me really get to thinking (you know who you are!).  Why did I start the blog?  Did I start writing to show how perfect our home was turning out?  Did I write because I felt like I had to?  Did I write to gain followers and be super blogger (+teacher+wife+friend+daughter+etc.)?  Answer to all questions:  NO.  I started writing because I was super psyched that I was married to a boy I dearly loved  and we had a dog we both adored and we owned an older home that needed a lot of love.  I wanted to document all of the things that were going on in our marriage that I didn't want to forget.  The moments with friends and family, the crazy escapades of Duncan the dog, and every step of turning our house into a home.  I wanted to take risks and write about it along the way.  I lost my way somehow, friends, but I hope that I'm back on track.

Forgive me for days lost on the blog in the past, and those that may come in the future.  When I have something to say, by-golly I'll say it.  When I don't, or I'm busy, or I simply want to enjoy my time without the computer--I'll give myself some grace. 

We do have a few things to report around here--you know we can't go long without busting open a can of paint, right?  I'll share those in the coming days--promise.  Thanks for sticking with me!

PS--Thanks also to those who have inquired/commented on my absence lately--it warms my heart to know that people do read this thing now and then!

4 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you decided to keep blogging! I always enjoy seeing pictures of your house and keeping up on whats going on. Since I rarely see you. Except for tonight, of course:)

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  2. Thanks, Lindsay! Hopefully I can keep up with it more consistently!

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  3. I agree with Lindsay! Your home is beautiful and I love reading about all of your decor ideas (and all the talk about Alabama football isn't half bad either...roll tide). I don't think I've spoken to you since high school, and I'm not even sure how I came accross your blog, but I'm so glad I have! I can't wait to own a home of my own some day and attempt to make it half as polished as yours. I also just started my own blog for just about same reason you did: hoppywanderlust.wordpress.com. Although, I'm pretty self-conscious about it, it is such a great way to keep track of life's big and little moments. -Sarah G-

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  4. Thanks so much for your encouragement and sweet thoughts, Sarah! It's been forever since I've seen you! Hope you are well-can't wait to check out your blog to see what you've been up to! Thanks so much for reading!

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